Little Lost....Okay, a lot lost

I was out for a walk yesterday and I was thinking....
Lately I've been very irritable, I have a very short fuse, no patience, and I keep snapping at people. And I keep cursing and wish I could stop. So last night I'm a walking and talking to God and I said something like, "if I could just stop I wouldn't feel so far away from you" and then it hit me! I'm trying to fix all the outward things, stop cursing, stop being so short with people in hopes that I can get closer to God. I'm acting as if me doing those things is pushing God away, when in reality, it's me pushing God away that's causing those things. I haven't been spending anytime in the word, or alone with the Lord. I've been reading Christian books, but neglecting the book that GOD wrote! I know how to fix that problem....more alone time with the Lord and the book he wrote for me!

We got a big book job in today, due Thursday, so I'll be working a LONG time tomorrow. It's all good. :)
Amanda and I are going to see Daniel Tosh this weekend. If you've never heard of him, google him, he's funny. He's performing at the House of Blues this Saturday.
More family coming into town this weekend as well...

Hoping some of these big things at work go through...things are tight....
The Lord is good to me though!

"They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding,' because it does. It buys a WaveRunner. You ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner? Try to frown on a WaveRunner. . . . Money buys happiness." -Daniel Tosh

All Up Hill

This week has been really good. Very tiring, but very productive. Ben is doing awesome, he's holding his head up and doing all kinds of cool stuff. He's just awesome!
Work is going really good, we got (potentially) a HUGE account this week, and more potential stuff lined up for next week. We are on track to more than triple our monthly intake but April. Geez...what a blessing!! The Lord is being good to us....
I'm going to try and turn my rundown, falling apart "sunroom" into an awesome semi-covered patio this summer. We've got a little money to go towards it so far and it shouldn't be that big of an undertaking. The hardest part I think is going to be demoing the sunroom....
Tomorrow is Easter, the day we celebrate our Lord and savior raising from the dead...man, what an awesome God!
Anyway, that's all for now. I leave you with this quote:
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. "
-- Demetri Martin

Saturday! Saturday!

I'm not really as excited about it being Saturday as the title of this blog my imply, though it has been a very relaxing day. I'm a little tired, but I think we are going to rent a movie and just hang out around the house tonight. Ben is doing so well. We weighed Amanda and then weighed her holding Ben this morning and the difference was 10 pounds...he's not even three weeks old yet! Man he's getting big fast. And he's already holding up his own head some!
I always heard guys say stuff about the first...6 months not being any fun until they can do stuff (talk, play etc..) but this has been awesome so far! The faces he makes are awesome, and I don't care what the "professionals" say, he's smiling and responding! It's the coolest thing in the world.
Work's going really well, have a few big things in the works that I will talk about once they've happened. Not that I think I can in anyway jinx anything, 'cause that's not possible, 'cause God's in control....BUT, I just don't want to talk about it all in detail and then have it not happen. Anyway, more on that as it happens.
Halfway through the Lee Strobel book, it's so awesome! I wish I had a couple hours (with a clear head) to sit down and finish it in one sitting....
Tomorrow will be Ben's first trip to church! I can't wait!

"When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?" " -Mike Birbiglia

Easy as Pie

I just opened a checking and savings account with Wamu and it was the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. It took like...5 minutes, online, and boom! Very impressed.
Anyway, I'm at work so I ought to work. :)
More later.......

Sigh...Mondays

Went back to work full time today. Had an okay day. Mailed out some letters trying to find a book of business or two to buy to try and help things along. Set a couple appointments for later this week.
Came home to my wife and son hanging out with his Great-Grandmother. My son not only has two great-grandmothers, but he also has 3 great-grandfathers, 3 grandmothers and three grandfathers...Christmas' are going to be huge. haha
My friend Mike had heel surgery 10 days ago and seems to be recovering well though I know he is stir-crazy at this point so your prayers are much appreciated. You can check him out at www.mikemesserli.blogspot.com
I'm still reading that book God's Outrageous Claims by Lee Strobel. It's slow going 'cause I'm having to read in between work, Benjamin, Amanda, and sleep...but it's REALLY good so far. I'm only on chapter 3 and I would highly recommend this book to anyone already!
The bank messed over our money, I deposited my check on Friday (it's Monday right now) and my check still hasn't posted...MY money, isn't available yet!!! So my mortgage checked bounced! And of course, the bank doesn't care. I strongly dis-like money and everything about it, including the institutions that control it. I'm really considering going back to the Bank of Old Mattress. AH!
This picture is really for no reason other than to show you my silly wife when we were at Disneyworld. We were in line for a show, and they came around and asked for 4 volunteers. My wife thought they wanted people to move up in line or something so she volunteered, and this is what happened. :) I love her so much! She's awesome!

Family's coming!

My cousin called last night, they are coming up from Waco this morning I think. They have a new baby girl.
We have an appointment at 11 to get pictures taken (for Benjamin). And then all of the family is coming.
I'm pretty tired today, Ben has gas so I got up to hang with him in the living room while Momma sleeps.
Not much else going on, as if that's not enough. :)
I'm reading God's Outrageous Claims by Lee Strobel, pretty good read so far...I'll let you know...

The Good Life

This post is going to be a far cry from the previous two, especially the oldest...
My uncle called last night. My dad's side of the family was born with a case of motor-mouth, you get two of us on the phone and it can be hours....of nonsense. And last night was no different. My Uncle Noel and I tend to share a little more in common as far as ours attitude towards our family/work/social lives. My dad and my grandfather, both of which I love to death, tend to subscribe to the old fashioned idea of, daddy goes to work, pays the bills, mommy takes care of the kids and the two worlds rarely collide. I don't buy it. Wrong or right, I want to be more involved in my kids life...every step of the way. And it's just good to talk with someone who feels the same way.
Anywho...I'm at home today, working on my laptop, my wife is on the other side of the room, feeding Benjamin...and life is good. My business is struggling, but I'm really not worried. I know it's in the Lord's hands, and if the business is meant to thrive, it'll thrive. And if not, I'm a salesman by trade, and sales jobs are not difficult to find. So the business thing really isn't bothering me. My partners are panicked...really panicked...but I'm just not willing to let something like money get in the way of me enjoying my family. Like my grandfather always said, "you need money, go make some...".
We have a photo shoot tomorrow at the JCPenney in Frisco for Benjamin, and then my grandma and grandpa are coming to town, along with my uncle Bryan. They are just coming for the day and then going home on Sunday. My wife's grandma is flying in from Atlanta tomorrow as well, along with Amanda's Aunt Tracey. Tracey is going back Monday I think, but Grandma is staying a week. So that's exciting. Somebody will be here to hang with Amanda and Benjamin and help out while I'm at work.
Well, friends are on the way to come see Benjamin, so I'm off.
In the words of Robert Frost "The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work."
Have a blessed day!

Pity Party

I was just looking over my post from yesterday and geez, pity party! Poor me right? The business I own needs my attention, my loving wife and brand new child need my attention...horrible! ha!
Anyway...I just got done feeding my son and it really got me thinking about things...about how much he's counting on me. It's cool, humbling and frightening at the same time.
Couple good things happened at work today...so that's comforting. I still need to go make some phone calls. Working from home is tough because it is so tempting to focus on things around the house.
We went to the pediatrician today. Benny has gained 6 more ounces since saturday, he's now back up above his birth weight. Doctor said that usually takes 2 weeks, and he's only been out of the hospital for 6 days. Then the doctor did something really cool...at the end of the appointment, he asked if he could pray with us! Man...that really got me thinking, that's how it's supposed to be. No separation between between your "work" life and your "spiritual" life. Christ is either the center of everything or he's not. I often find myself "checking out" of my relationship with the Lord and strapping on my "work" hat...and that is when I get discouraged and down about my work situation. It's when I give it all back to God and say "you grow this business, you take care of it, just tell me where to be and what to do and I'm yours", that's when the work life falls in sync with my walk with the Lord.
Well, I need to go make those phone calls. I'm so blessed, what a problem to have, I have to go sit on my couch, with my laptop, my phone, my puppy, and my son, and I have to make phone calls to people who buy what I sell. haha
Praise God!

History-First Blog

Well this is my first blog.
I just bought a business (a print shop) January 1st, my son Benjamin was born a week ago yesterday, my wife is at home recovering from the c-section...
I'm tired.
I find myself torn between the need to come to work (not a nagging inner need, but a "mortgage is due" kind of need), and the need to stay home and take care of my wife and child. It's difficult, and I'm not getting much help from my business partners either. I realize that if I don't come to work and make things happen, we will go broke, simple math...I have to take in the same amount that goes out. On the other hand, I have a wife at home recovering from surgery, who needs my help to do simple things.
....oh, balance....
Of course my business partners (my dad and my brother) think I'm being silly for trying to stay home and take care of my wife...but I feel silly sitting here in my office, while my wife is at home, alone. (with our son, but he's a week old...not much help) haha
It's times like these that I really start to wonder if I am doing the right things. Is my business really God's will for me, or am I forcing it? Am I being silly about needing to be home with wife? How many shirts can one infant poop through? Geez... :)
My initial reaction to all of this is that I need to get out of the business...which then puts me in the position of having no income...which is fine with me except that things..cost money. So then I would have to go get a job...which has never been easy with my record and GED. So I'm staying where I am...it's just panic anyway. But what to do about the immediate issue??
I guess I can't blog my way out of this one...
The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will convict us when we are off the path...I'm feeling convicted, I just can't figure out what for....